


Away

by NahaFlowers



Category: The Hour
Genre: F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, anxious!Bel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NahaFlowers/pseuds/NahaFlowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bel is trying to get both their jobs back, but Freddie tells her that he's going away.</p>
<p>Post 1x06</p>
            </blockquote>





	Away

“Freddie, I’ve talked to Douglas and some of the other higher ups at the BBC and I think I might be able to negotiate getting our jobs back,” Bel said as Freddie opened the door and wordlessly let her into his flat. She turned around to face him, raising an eyebrow as if to say “Well, what do you think?”

Freddie shook his head. “It’s no good, Bel. You might be able to convince them to take you back, but there’s no hope for me.”

“What are you talking about? You were the one who exposed Clarence! Surely that counts for something!”

“You forget that I was also on the list of Brightstones. The only reason I was on the team in the first place was because Clarence vouched for me. There’s no chance they’ll take me back after that.”

“But-” Bel protested, but Freddie shook his head, moving past her to sink down onto the sofa. Only now did she look at him properly, and noticed that his eyes were red-rimmed, and he seemed to be shivering slightly, without noticing.

“Freddie, are- are you alright?” she asked falteringly, as she took in the state of his flat - it was always a mess, but this was more than that, as though Freddie had actually been trying to sort out - sort through stuff. “Freddie?”

He looked up at her again, and when he did she could see the tears in his eyes that he’d been trying so hard to hold back when she had arrived. “My father- my father died yesterday,” he said hoarsely, voice cracking on the last word. “I’ve been trying to sort all his stuff out,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the piles scattered around the room.  
Bel felt herself sitting down on the sofa next to him, in shock. Somehow she regained her senses enough to put a comforting hand on Freddie’s back. “Freddie, I’m so sorry.”  
Freddie looked at her and nodded painfully. She squeezed his shoulder and he leant into her, and they just stayed like that for a few minutes, mourning a man whom they had both loved dearly.

“I’ll- I’ll help with sorting everything out,” she said shakily, standing up and smoothing down her skirt for something to do with her hands.

Freddie was already shaking his head. “Bel, you don’t have to-”

Bel silenced him with a sharp look. “Maybe I don’t. But I want to. I know he was your father, but- well-” She let out a humourless laugh. “He was better to me than my father ever was.” 

Freddie acknowledged this by nodding at the floor, unable to look Bel in the eye.

“Anyway, you’re a mess,” she continued, not unkindly. Freddie snorted. “I’ll make us a cup of tea and we can start working things out.”

 

When she came back with the tea, Freddie had regained his composure.

“Bel-”

“Yes?” she said, looking at him inquisitively as she put the tea down on a side table.

“I- I don’t want you to put all your time into helping me with this,” Freddie said, choosing his words carefully. Bel opened her mouth to protest but he continued. “You still have to get your job back, remember?”

Bel looked momentarily thrown. “Yes, but Freddie, what about your job?”

“I’ve told you, it’s no good. There’s no way they’re taking me back. And- and I can’t go back at the moment, Bel. I just can’t.”

Bel nodded, trying to will away the tears that had sprung to her eyes at the thought of working without Freddie. “Then- what will you do?”

Freddie’s eyes flickered up to Bel, then back down again. Then he looked her straight in the eye as he said, quietly, “I’m thinking about going away.”

“Away?” said Bel, her voice hitching on the second syllable. “Away where? For how long?” If the idea of not working with Freddie had been almost unbearable, the idea of him going away was unthinkable. Her mind went into overdrive, both imagining and trying to stop herself imagining what it would be like here without him, trying to stop herself from visibly panicking. A little voice in her head told her that it probably wasn’t normal to feel like this about a friend going away, but she pushed it down as Freddie replied.

“I’m not sure yet. America, maybe. For as long as it takes.”

Bel was really trying not to panic now. America? For as long as it takes? For as long as what takes? She said this last question out loud.

“To find myself, I suppose,” said Freddie, slightly sheepishly. Bel couldn’t help herself from letting out a snort. Freddie looked frustrated. “Come with me, if you like.”

Bel laughed wildly. “Come with you? Freddie, I can’t! What about The Hour? What about everything we’ve built together?”

“You think they’ll let us continue with it after what happened? You think even if they do, that it’ll ever be the same? You’ll have to toe the government line forever just to keep it on air. Sorry, but that’s not a show I want to be part of.”

“So you’re just going to give up on it all? Bugger off to America and leave the rest of us to it? Well, you can go but I’ll be damned if I will.” She was angry with Freddie now, possibly angrier than she’d ever been, and she tried to use that to force down the panic that threatened to choke her every time she thought about Freddie leaving.

Freddie sighed heavily, sinking down into the sofa. “All right,” he said, resigned. “You’ve made your choice, I’ve made mine.” He looked up at Bel, the vulnerability and sadness clear in his eyes. “There’s just nothing left for me here.”

Bel looked at him, appalled. Then she stormed out of the flat, down the stairs and into the street. She spent several long minutes leaning against the wall, trying to even out her breathing.

He had said there was nothing left for him here.

_But what about me?_ she had wanted to say. _What about me?_

**Author's Note:**

> Anxious!Bel is a big headcanon of mine so I wanted to write her having/nearly having a panic attack at the thought of Freddie leaving. I hope I did this missing scene justice, it's one I've wanted to write for a while.


End file.
